Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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