Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
