Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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