Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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