we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
