Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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