So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
