Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
