Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
