I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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