with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
