You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
