Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just had sex on a roof
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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