He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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