with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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