She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
