You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
