I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
