bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
