it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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