he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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