I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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