Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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