We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
