I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
