The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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