Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
