Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
