Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
