Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
