Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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