Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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