I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
