puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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