dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there's paper in my vomit.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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