we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
