There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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