i barfeds in our rink
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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