Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize