I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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