YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
