There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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