did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
