So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
