Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We have started to decorate penises.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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