another moral hangover. fuck.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
