what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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