either way he was missing a nipple.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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