let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
