worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
