guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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