Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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