ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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