just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
