Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
