Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
