Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
