Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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