smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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